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    英语表演节目剧本-英语搞笑短剧剧本精选推荐.docx

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    英语表演节目剧本-英语搞笑短剧剧本精选推荐.docx

    英语表演节目剧本-英语搞笑短剧剧本精选推荐 Big words of western tour (大话西游) Chapter 1 SiteThe wedding Characters牛魔王 、至尊宝、紫霞、小妖 Aside The story begins with a wedding. The Bull King is going to have a concubine. 牛Today is my wedding. I am going to have a concubine. Ha ha ha . 妖Concubine Dose your wife agree to it 牛Oh She is not lovely anymore. She’s right now at the Flame Mountain. She can do nothing about it 至尊宝从后台走入人群中 牛Let me introduce my brother to you My bro Come here This is my brother. 牛深情地转向紫霞 牛Zixia, listen to me. I think I ‘ve fallen in love with you once I know you. I want to show my sincerity. So I request you to marry me in front of my bros. This Pandora’s Box is my gift to you. I hope you would say yes. 妖I object 牛What 妖Zixia has a means to test her lover. If you can pass it, I will shout up 至What’s this Really 妖This test is that she would marry the guy who can make her Magic Sword go out of the scabbard. 剑从至的怀中落下 妖Magic Sword 牛Let me do this 紫跑出,拾剑 紫It’s not true It’s just a joke. It is still meaningless even if you can put it out 紫跑下 妖King, Iron Fan Princess has come. 牛Aaa 牛惊慌地跑下 Aside The monkey king leaves the front hall, running to back garden Chapter 2 Site Bull King’s back garden Characters 至尊宝、紫霞 (至跑过来,突然看到紫独自坐在台阶上,于是走过来) 至Why are you hiding here 紫抽剑,指向至。两人定格,至走出来,独白 至At this time, the blade is really close to me, 0.01 cm I think. But after a short period of time, 0.01 second I think, the owner of the sword will fall for me whole-heartedly. Because I’ve decided to tell lies, I’ve told many lies in my life, but I think it is the most wonderful lie 紫I’ll kill you if you come closer 至You should kill me Kill me I’d found my best love, but I didn’t treasure her. I left regretful after that. It’s the ultimate pain in the world. Just cut my throat, please don’t hesitate If God can give me a chance, I will tell her there words. “I love you”. If God wants to give a time limit, I’ll say this love will last 10 thousand years (紫长叹,抛剑,拾剑,抱剑) 紫What can you tell your wife 至I have to tell her the truth. So I must get the Pandora’s Box back. Then go back with you and explain everything. But I hate myself that I can’t get the box back. I 紫I help you 至No, it’s dangerous 紫You don’t want to 至I do But 紫I trust you I’ll get the Pandora’s Box back tonight. Wait for me here at midnight. 猪喊 至Let me do something to my boss first. See you tonight. (依依不舍) Aside The night Chapter 3 Site Dungeon Characters 至尊宝、猪八戒、沙僧、唐僧 猪和沙Master, master 两人同时悄声说 猪We come to save you. 沙We come to bring you out. 唐I won’t go. 猪和沙Stay here Why 唐There’re full of obstacles in the way of getting scriptures. This is because we’re not united enough. So we let the devils do bad to us. That’s fine. This prison has no difference with the outside world, to me; the outside world is just a bigger prison. You go out first. I have something to tell him. 猪和沙下 唐You come in and have a sit 至To be honest, I’m not your disciple. I don’t want to be your disciple. Master I know you’re a good guy. Please let me go 唐Do you know “dong , dong, dong ” 至What is “dong, dong, dong” 唐“dong, dong, dong ” is 唐唱Only you 至Stop. Stop. I can’t take this anymore, please stop 唐Ohoh 至Damn you, you I’ve said I can’t take this anymore. Don’t disturb or I’ll kill you. 唐 Monkey King, you can kill me. Life and death are very minor. When you know why you should make sacrifices, you will come back and sing this song with me. Namonitabhaya 至跑走 Aside The Monkey King succeeds in escaping the Bull King, and he reaches the Spiders’ Cave with the Grapes. Unfortunately, the Monkey King and his friends meet the Queen of Spider. The Monkey have heard that if the blade slashed fast and accurately, the guy who’s cut open won’t die at once. He can still see. So he asks the Queen of the Spider to kill him as fast as she could and to tear his heart out and let him have a look. After the Monkey King’s death, he appears in the Hole of Waterfall Chapter 4 Site The Hole of Waterfall Characters 至尊宝、观音 至Goddess. I’m about to understand your words. I used my eyes to see in the past. What I was dying. I started using my heart to see this world. Then I could see all things clearly. That girl has left a drop of tear in my heart. I felt her sorrow. 观Have you given up all things in human world 至Yes Life and death is just minor But I don’t understand why can human’s hatred last 10 years, 50 years, and even 500 years. What hatred is it 观So that Tang Monk went to the west and got scriptures, which clean out hearts. 至OK, I want to stay here, there are many things waiting for me to do. 观I want to warn you again. After wearing the gold ring, you’re no longer a normal human. You can’t have human desires anymore. If you do so, the gold ring will get smaller and smaller. It’s very uncomfortable. 至OK. 观Before wearing the ring, what do you want to say 至I had had found my best love, but I didn’t treasure her. When I lost her, I regret. It’s the most pain in the world. If God can give me another chance, I will say there words to her “I love you” If there is a time limit, I hope, it is 10 thousand years 孔雀东南飞 Wanderseveryfivemiles 焦仲卿JohnnyJforshort刘兰芝LunchLforshort 焦母Johnny’smotherJMforshort刘母Lunch’smotherLMforshort 太守之子Mayor’ssonMSforshort强盗BurglarsABandC Prologue J作被打状跑上台,内砸出一卷纸筒,J被打中,狼狈不堪 JEverybodysaysthatI’mhenpecked,butinfact,I’masstrongasatiger,小声whilemy wifeisWuSong. 指着上台处的门大声道I’mnotafraidofyou 内砸出一脸盆,J接住当成盾牌护着头Then,I’mafraidofwhom MywifeLunchisthemostfamouswomanintheneighbor-hood.Sheisbraverthanme, smarterthanmeandstrongerthanme.AllthisIdonotcare.Ionlywanthertobetender thanme.ButsheisnotHavingawifelikethisisjustlikelivinginthehell 内又砸出一卷纸筒,击中J MyGodWhocanhelpme下 Act1 序幕结束时,JM作窃听状 JM拄拐棍上Ican 对门内LunchLunchWhereareyou L扎着围裙,拿着锅铲,从门内跳出来I’mhereWhat’supmum JMI’vetoldyouagainandagainthatyoushouldcallme“mymostbeautifulgracefuland dearestmother-in-law”. LOK.Mymostbeautifulgracefulanddearestmother-in-law,what’sup JMSinceyoumarriedmysonyouhavebehavedsobadly.Youhavebeensorude,sobrusque,so lazy LBut JMNeverinterruptme LNeverinterruptmeSinceImarriedyourson,thatterribleJohnny,Ihavebeenworkinghardall daylong,cookingandwashing.Ihaveraisedtensofthousandsofpigsandducksandchicken and JMButallthoseyouhavedonearenotasvaluableasagrandson L生气地挥动着锅铲Oh,youwantagrandson,don’tyou开始解围裙Goandaskyour son.I’mleaving扯下围裙,扔在JM的脸上,下 Act2 LM坐在台上打毛线,L拿着锅铲上 LMum,I’mback LMYouarebackWhyWhathappened LIwaskickedoutbymymostbeautifulgracefulanddearestmother–in-law. LM惊讶,但随即露出幸灾乐祸的神情SeeIhavealreadytoldyouWhenyouinsistedon marryingthatterribleJohnny,Itoldyouthatheisuglystupidandpoor,butyoudidnotlisten tome.Lookatyourself LBut,mum LMNeverinterruptme LMum,I’mnotinterruptingyou.IjustwanttotellyouthatyouarealwaysrightOKAnd I’llmarrywhomeveryouwantmeto. LM大喜NicegirlJustnow,Imetthemayor’ssoninthemarket.Hesaid“Ifyoudaughter Haven’tbeenmarried,Ireallyreallywanttomarryher”Nowyouarefreeagain,I’llgo andtellhim.下 L惊愕WhatThemayor’ssonThemostfamousplayboyintheneighbor-hood手中的锅 铲掉在地上WhatasillythingIhavedone下 Act3 J睡眼惺忪上 J边走边道LunchLunchWherearemysocks 走了几步,在地上捡起袜子Heretheyare闻一下 ErHowsmellyTheyarestilldirty 突然想起LunchhasgoneIhavetowashthemmyself. 他的肚子似乎咕咕叫了起来Oh,I’msohungryButthere’snobreakfast捡起地上的围 裙ThisiswhatLunchalwayswearsImisshersomuch,andherexcellentcookingskillNow shehasgone.Ihavetocookymotherandmyself. JM上Where’smybreakfastWhere’sLunchHasn’tshegotupyet JMum,can’tyourememberLunchhasgone JM沉吟片刻Well,totellyouthetruthJohnny,asonwithoutawifeisuseless.Lunchisanice girl,goandtakeherback J立正敬礼Yesmadam Act4 J开心地走着,忽然跳出来三个强盗 AHeyyouStopandlistentous Theroadisbuiltbyme抬脚重重地踩在一块大石头上 BAndIplantedonetree亦抬脚踩在同一块石头上 CIfyouwanttogobythisstreet---欲踩石头,但踩到了A的脚 ABCGiveusallyourmoney J搜遍了每一个口袋,掏出1角硬币Is1maoenough 三强盗晕倒状,接着三人聚在一边商量 AWhatbadluckThisguyisbroken BIfwecannotrobanymoneytoday,wewillhavenothingtoeattonight CIheardthatthemayor’ssonisgoingtomarryMissLiuLanzhinextmonth.WEcangoand robthewedding ABGoodidea J惊讶WhatWhatLunchisgoingtogetmarriedIt’simpossible ABCWhyAprettygirlandarichman,whatagoodcouple JButLunchismywifeWehaven’tgotdivorcedyet 突然有了主意I’vegotanideaYouaregoingtorobthewedding,don’tyouI’llgo withyou.YoutakethemoneyandItakethebride. BHaveyougotanyexperience JNo.ButI’vegotthisJ脱下鞋子从里面摸出一张支票,上书$1,000,000 Act5 转眼已到了婚礼之期.MS意气风发用红绸牵着新娘上,J盖着红盖头极不情愿地被拉上台 J和三强盗跃至台中 ABCJHeyyouStopandlistentous ATheroadisbuiltbyme BAndIplantedonetree. CIfyouwanttogobythisstreet--- JGiveusallyourmoney L听到J的声音,掀起了盖头 L惊喜万分Johnny不顾一切地飞奔到J的身边并躲到了的身后 MS大怒,挥拳向J打来.J矮身一躲,MS打中了J身后的L,L晕倒 J火冒三丈Howdareyoubeatmywife(挥拳向MS冲去) J与MS混战,JM上,以拐杖击晕MS J将MS胸前的新郎标志扯下戴在自己胸前 J扶起L,关切地问Honey,howareyou L哭状Ihurtalot JDon’tcrybaby.I’llgoandfetchthemedicine. 下 L起身去追Waite 跑下 音乐起 CanYouCelebrate 三打白骨精 Three Times’ Beating Monster 人物T唐僧S孙悟空 E猪八戒 J沙僧 B白骨精(何平) B1B变成的村姑 B2B变成的太婆B3B变化成的老头 T Emitofo,do you know where we are now S Bajie,map E 摸出,递给S S Look,boss 凑近T(T、S一齐转向E) T BajieHow Many times I have told you, don’t bring these pictures of beautiful girls E Oh, bossForgive me伸手拿回 T 缩手I’ll keep it for you until we reach the west E But T Emitofo,nothing is lust,lust is nothing Map E 递Here.Em we have arrived in White Tiger MountainAh I can’t walk on any more坐My stomach doesn’t allow So. S Fat Pig E Monkey,if you dare to say these two words once again,I will ,I will. S You will what凶相 E 软禁I will help you catch fleas跳蚤. S Hm T(轻咳)Wukong,factually,I am a bit hungry Could you go to get me some food E You see , boss is hungry,too T BaijieDon’t forget who ate my last meal J But boss,if a monster comes while brother monkey is away.. T Em.It is a problem.Wukong,do you have any idea S No problem安装(B已躲在一旁偷看) J This is.. S Electric netI have learnt the energy of electricity from boss’s books. So I made this. No monster can approach you if you stay in it T EmWukong, you are becoming more and more scientific Emitofo, knowledge is power S Bye走 T Let’s play cards三人开始打牌音乐斗地主 B HmHmElectric netYou are too childish.变成B1 B1 接近三人,望着Can I join you J I’m sorry,lady. We are playing Fighting Against landowner and three people are enough. B1 在一旁观看Oh,Chance Bomb T Bomb打出 B1 Double King T Oh.I win Em,Lady,you are a boss-hand. Come in and teach me准备开电网门 S 回来,看见B1Oh,monster上前就打 B1 (倒Ah T 气愤Wukong Look what have done She is my teacher S She is a monster T Nonsense深呼吸 S Oh,please don’t TIt’s too late唱Once moreyou open the door泰坦尼克主题曲,走音离谱 S Please,Please,oh,no痛苦抱头 T 呛住,咳Wukong,I’m disappointed with you B 真身出现HmSun Wukong, I’ll teach you a lesson变成太婆 B2Hello,have you seen my daughter T Daughter...连忙挡住地尸体No,sorry陪笑,B2想看后面是什么,T挡 S (咬牙切齿)You monster, I’ll beat you into hellS追打B2,B2躲至T身后,S打,不想打到T头,T晕,S再打死B2 EJ Are you Ok, boss扶T J Look,伸食指how many TTwo..晕乎乎地Sun Wukong, game over变成B3 B3 看到B1,B2尸体Oh.,my daughter, my wife Who did it哭喊 S I’ll kill you, monster打 T (想阻止,未及)You,you.....险些晕,E,J扶住 You have killed three lives S No,they are not human beingsThey are created by monster T MonsterYou are a real monsterNever let me see you,go S 悲,离去(音乐,营造 “假”悲伤气氛)人鬼情未了 J boss, brother Monkey is....... T Dont mention that guy any more B 出现 Ha,ha,ha三尸体B1,B2,B3在B招手后“飘”走 T (惊)You are...... B How foolish you are ,Mr TangE,J去阻斗,被击退 B 抓住TIll enjoy your meat and blood,ha,ha...... S 悄悄走到B后,打B,B晕A thousand years later. T Wukong E Oh,Brother Monkey J Our hero is back T I,I cant understand......What happened S Boss,your IQ needs increasing This monster changed its appearance into three shapes in order to cheat you T How,how did you find out S 沉默.......Monkeys intuition直觉 T WukongS不理TI admit my mistake this timeS仍不理Im sorry小声 S What T Im sorry. S Em Louder,please T I......am......sorry.....S 捂耳(音乐响)敢问路在何方(这个放伴奏) 谢幕 小美人鱼-英文剧本 THE LITTLE MERMAID本文转自, 小品剧本,个人简历 简历封面 ---------------------- An ocean. Birds are flying and porpoises are swimming happily. From the fog a ship appears crashing through the waves Sailors Ill tell you a tale of the bottomless blue And its hey to the starboard, heave ho Look out, lad, a mermaid be waitin for you In mysterious fathoms below. Eric Isnt this great The salty sea air, the wind blowing in your face . . . a perfect day to be at sea Grimsby Leaning over side. Oh yes . . . delightful . . . . Sailor 1 A fine strong wind and a following sea. King Triton must be in a friendly-type mood. Eric King Triton Sailor 2 Why, ruler of the merpeople, lad. Thought every good sailor knew about him. Grimsby Merpeople Eric, pay no attention to this nautical nonsense. Sailor 2 But it aint nonsense, its the truth Im tellin you, down in the depths o the ocean they live. He gestures wildly, Fish in his hand flops away and lands back in the ocean, relieved. Sailors Heave. ho. Heave, ho. In mysterious fathoms below. Fish sighs and swims away. Titles. Various fish swimming. Merpeople converge on a great undersea palace, filling concert hall inside. Fanfare ensues. Seahorse Ahem . . . His royal highness, King Triton Triton enters dramatically to wild cheering. And presenting the distinguished court composer, Horatio Thelonious Ignatius Crustaceous Sebastian Sebastian enters to mild applause. Triton Im really looking forward to this perance, Sebastian. Sebastian Oh, Your Majesty, this will be the finest concert I have ever con- ducted. Your daughters - they will be spectacular Triton Yes, and especially my little Ariel. Sebastian Yes, yes, she has the most beautiful voice. . . . [sotto] If only shed show up for rehearsals once in a while. . . . He proceeds to podium and begins to direct orchestra. Tritons daughters Ah, we are the daughters of Triton. Great father who loves us and named us well Aquata, Andrina, Arista, Atina, Adella, Allana. And then there is the youngest in her musical debut, Our seventh little sister, were presenting her to you, To sing a

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